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I had a huge “a-ha” today on my walk as I was listening to ‘girl wash your face’. In so many ways I can relate to the author. At her age, I was so much like her.
She said something though about making a wish list, all of the things that you dream about and that keep you up at night. Write them all down, she said.
I was suddenly aware that I don’t have many “dreams” or “wishes” like this anymore. It’s not a bad thing, I just don’t have many.
Sure, I love the idea of being a millionaire in my 50’s *smiles* or finding the perfect love, traveling the world, speaking/training and building my family tree.
I then realized that the sense of urgency I feel to “do more” I put on myself because of my massive desire to grow. It’s not really about “having more things” as much as it is experiencing growth. I thought back to my childhood and remember at such a young age working towards this “growth”.
And then, it came to me, that I really could be very happy for the rest of my life living the life I have now. Even IF there isn’t the next love story or IF there isn’t more money or even more travel than there is today.
It’s not complacency, and it’s not settling, and I’m not sure I could ever not push forward. I think it’s just my DNA.
Really, I think I COULD let go of that pressure to always be growing into the next thing and enjoy more of what life looks like now. Like, letting myself off the hook. I mean, at what point do we do that? Is there one?
I already have the ‘Big Why‘ I dreamed of: my family, close by, and freedom to “be” to “do” to “choose”.