I woke up one day a little “fluffier”, yet sexier, with more aches and pains, and more pride, with major responsibility, and additional freedom, with more wrinkles and more confidence. Yes, there it was, I had become a midlife woman.
You Still Got It
According to the Oxford English Dictionary middle age is between 45 and 65.
Uggh. As much as I appreciate this time in my life, I do not enjoy the term middle age. I do not appreciate the fact that I’m in that phase between adulthood and old age, says Wikipedia.
And that being said, I’m grateful to be here and am ready to share the good, bad, and the ugly with all things that come with being a 40 + woman. Just 3 years away from becoming a 50+ woman, I feel like this is the prep phase.
To be honest, as much as I dislike the flabbier skin, the wrinkles, and the thinning hair, I feel sexier than my 30’s, more confident than my 20’s,
The midlife woman rocks!
There is something about this time in life that has allowed me to truly feel free. For me, being an entrepreneur, with more than one woman-owned business [go ladies], my life is mine.
I have no day to day responsibilities, nowhere I have to “be” to earn an income, and I make my own schedule.
This one thing makes this 40 + phase the best age so far.
I have one grown daughter, now 27, and a teenager, age 15, who is still at home. While I didn’t feel 32 years old was old to have a child, I’m amazed today that I still have a teenager at home.
Truthfully, I felt like having a child in my 30’s was a lot easier than having one in my 20’s. I was more secure in my life and in myself the second time around.
At 15, my teenager is pretty independent which allows me the freedom to still do most of the things I want to do in life.
I’m still the chef, the housekeeper, and the chauffeur. That being said, my older daughter is my neighbor and she’s incredibly available for her younger sister.
As a midlife Mama, I feel calm. I feel “skilled”. It’s a good time to be a mother. I make myself available for my older daughter and feel very much like I’m still raising her. The difference, at this age, is that it’s more leadership through influence than it is teaching her right from wrong.
Sitting at the doctor’s office preparing for my blepharoplasty, I was presented with the paperwork.
There it was, the question, are you married, single, widowed, or divorced. Why, I wonder. Why is it that my failed marriage has to be acknowledged for me to received medical attention.
Does it somehow change how I will be treated? I think not.
They should do away with that field. Divorced women should be a protected class, I say. It makes me feel like I’m wearing a scarlet letter, only it’s a capital “D” tattooed to my forehead.
I was married for 25 years. I loved my husband. The day I walked out that front door, I still loved my husband. I’ll talk about this in another blog.
Does my divorce define me? Yes, in a way. I don’t allow it to define me in an ugly way. It’s part of my past and present. Being a “divorced” woman comes with battle-scars and badges. It’s experience and lessons.
And, honestly, it just “IS”.
40 + Looks
Most of the time, I feel fatter than I’d like, even after shedding 50 pounds on the Keto Diet.
Most of the time, I feel like I “look old” even after blepharoplasty to remove the excess fat (bags) under my eyes and the hooded top lids.
Most of the time I feel like I’m weaker than I want to be and wish my arms and legs were stronger and more tone.
That’s real. That’s me.
It’s fascinating to listen to my brothers. The older one likes women in their 20’s and 30’s and tne younger one prefers them in their 40’s and 50’s. I appreciate listening to my brother in his 30’s talk about how sexy and confident women are in their midlife years.
While I wish aging didn’t come with regression in appearance, in many cases, women are deemed better looking at this phase than ever in their lives. People tell me this frequently, that I look better today than I ever have. I struggle with believing that but relish the sentiment.
More To Come
I launched the Midlife Monarch website and blog to cater to women age 45-64, like me who are dealing with only things another midlife woman can relate to.
We will talk about parenting (and grandparenting), relationships, travel, money, fashion, beauty, health, fitness, menopause, business, house and home, and all things midlife women!
I’ll share my journey openly and authentically and look forward to connecting to more strong, powerful, happy, and successful midlife women.